Death on the Nile
2022
The Nile
Kenneth Branagh
Murder Mystery
What’s it all about: Agatha Christie told extra. Kenneth Branagh’s updated Hercule Poirot uses his little grey cells to solve the mystery of who’s gay, who’s Black, and who’s a really bad actress (Gal Gadot). Letitia Wright calls the detective out for being the little creep that he is, and Sophie Okonedo reveals why you don’t mess with a Black queen’s headdress.
First Encounter: first viewing
Prostitute Index: nil
Death By: adaptation
Relics:
Hoops: locking all the suspects in the parlor to reveal whodunnit; an unflappable riverboat crew who clear away bodies like they’re clearing away dishes.
Heartthrob: Sophie Okonedo
Pass/Fails the Test of Time: Gal Gadot
LoFi Magic: murder-suicide choreography
Makes me want to: mash this up with “Jungle Cruise” and see Duane Johnson in a Hercule Poirot mustache.
Candotti Take: “Gal Gadot was born to do Spider-Woman only.” / “She failed singing ‘Imagine’ by John Lennon, and she failed doing another movie besides Spider-Woman or whatever.”
Worth a watch/rewatch: No
#agathachristie #deathonthenile #readthebook #egypt #rivernile #kennethbranagh #sophieokonedo #jazz #galgadot #tiffanyyellowdiamond #frenchandsaunders #husbandotti #filmfest #unseenhorses