The Blackening

2022

Brentwood, California

Tim Story

Comedy Horror Thriller

What’s it all about: Most horror films have a cast so annoying you can’t wait for them all to die. This ensemble is so fun and charismatic you want everyone to survive. Unfortunately, a psycho in blackface has other ideas for their Juneteenth reunion in the woods.

First Encounter: first viewing   

Prostitute Index: nil

Death By: crossbow

Relics: Rap Snacks

Hoops: “Really, bitch? A cabin in the woods?”

Heartthrobs: Melvin Gregg, X Mayo

Pass/Fails the Test of Time: “Friends” vs. “Living Single”

LoFi Magic: Sambo as Jigsaw; side-eye telepathy

Words to live by: “That was ‘bitch’ in the colloquial sense, like, ‘Hey bitch, are you gonna finish that quesadilla?’”

Makes me want to: set an alert for “The Blackening 2”

Candotti Take: n/a

Worth a watch/rewatch: Yes

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