The Blackening
2022
Brentwood, California
Tim Story
Comedy Horror Thriller
What’s it all about: Most horror films have a cast so annoying you can’t wait for them all to die. This ensemble is so fun and charismatic you want everyone to survive. Unfortunately, a psycho in blackface has other ideas for their Juneteenth reunion in the woods.
First Encounter: first viewing
Prostitute Index: nil
Death By: crossbow
Relics: Rap Snacks
Hoops: “Really, bitch? A cabin in the woods?”
Heartthrobs: Melvin Gregg, X Mayo
Pass/Fails the Test of Time: “Friends” vs. “Living Single”
LoFi Magic: Sambo as Jigsaw; side-eye telepathy
Words to live by: “That was ‘bitch’ in the colloquial sense, like, ‘Hey bitch, are you gonna finish that quesadilla?’”
Makes me want to: set an alert for “The Blackening 2”
Candotti Take: n/a
Worth a watch/rewatch: Yes
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