Cobra
1986
Los Angeles, California
George P. Cosmatos
Crime Action Thriller
What’s it all about: Violent crime is soaring in America, and much of it seems to be committed by rogue cop Sylvester Stallone. Brigitte Nielsen is a high-fashion model who witnesses a brutal murder, and she likes a lot of ketchup on her french fries. She doesn’t have a lot of dialogue, so that’s all we know.
First Encounter: first viewing (Raf’s favorite VHS cover at the video store as a child)
Prostitute Index: medium
Death By: duking it out at the Donkey Kong industrial forge
Relics: flop sweat (to let us know the bad guys are beyond reason)
Hoops: playing Miami Sound Machine every time we see Stallone’s Mexican neighbors; punching out the pencil-neck cop who doesn’t like your ways at the end of the movie
Heartthrobs: Brigitte Nielsen, Brian Thompson
Pass/Fails the Test of Time: hand grenades
LoFi Magic: Brigitte’s robot fashion shoot montage
Words to live by:
Makes me want to: up my sunglass game
Candotti Take: “Why is he wearing this trench coat in LA?” / “The movie doesn’t have much dialogue at all. It’s not a smart movie. Only bombs and explosions.”
Worth a watch/rewatch: Yes – for 30 minutes (once you see Brigitte’s fashion shoot, you can decide whether to continue or not)
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